leadership behaviour

 by Nancy

Certainty vs Conviction

Ask a horseman how to solve a particular problem with a horse, the answer will most likely be “It depends.” If you are someone who wants the certainty of an answer you might find that response somewhat frustrating. While there is much you can be certain about with a horse, a simple answer is rarely one of them. The horse’s lawyer, Tom Dorrance, summed it up nicely “A horse is only afraid of two things, things that move and things that don’t.”

It was a discussion on certainty versus conviction that I had the great opportunity to participate in that brought this months article to the newsletter. It was as if I had engaged two leadership experts for a private session on the question “Who is in charge of my own success?”. Paraphrasing the definition presented “those who work under the idea of certainty believe that what they know or hold is true, working with conviction allows room for a dialogue.”

Certainty is simple and ideas are often presented as right or wrong, this is how it must be done, or as fact. Take for example Bush’s speech to Congress following 9/11 “you are either with us or you are with the terrorists”. A statement not open for debate, you agreed or you were, put simply, the enemy. Certainty offers little room for interpretation and control over the outcome is given to someone else.

On the other hand, conviction offers the position that “I stand for something and feel strongly about it but I’m open minded to hear what you think”. For those who follow something with conviction it is ok to question an idea, challenge an interpretation or include your own perspective. Conviction doesn’t need to be seen as fact but as a view or belief that has worked for you. When you have conviction about something you believe you have control over the outcomes and are willing to engage in a discussion to that end because you own the idea.

A perfect example of people holding belief over their impact on an outcome has recently unfolded half way around the world. For three weeks the Egyptian people acted with the conviction, no longer willing to accept the status quo. The certainty of religion, gender, race and status were not presented as barriers as people took to the streets by the hundreds of thousands, until Mumbarek finally stepped down February 11. What is clear is that each individual took responsibility to play their part in ushering in a new era.

Leadership as demonstrated by Bush’s statement is a command control style it weighs on our fears and expects compliance, in fact the cost of questioning or defiance has already been defined. Leading with conviction requires self awareness and authenticity, in Egypt’s case it was one individual inspiring and convincing another that change was possible. It was truly authentic and collaborative leadership in action.

The difference between the two for either horsemanship or leadership comes down to those who are self aware and authentic about what they desire to learn and offer. Learning from one teacher or the other can simply help complete the picture we are creating for ourselves. I choose to follow my horsemanship path with conviction I present the best offer to my horse, I try and maintain a fair approach, I work hard to manage my emotions and I continue to explore ideas and environments where I can be my best. Of that, you can be certain.

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 by Nancy

A Year of Great Expectation

A year begins with great expectations. It may be a resolution, a hope for better things to come or plans to change. Inevitably we look forward and focus on what we want to do differently however a new year also provides the opportunity to reflect and acknowledge what we have accomplished.

In a previous article, Why Positive Change is Hard I quoted David Rock on The New Science of Change. Rock suggests that our brain is wired to avoid change as learning requires new circuits to be created in our brains and that is energy intensive, referring to existing patterns isn’t. The brain’s natural default is to use less energy.

Rock uses a simple metaphor for brain development “New circuits are like delicate seedlings, requiring careful watering and care.” and suggests the solution of a mere ten seconds of reflection a day to help develop new circuits. That 10 second rule is the reason that posting a quote, a phrase or a reminder on their desktop, fridge or mirror is so effective in helping us achieve a goal. The simple act of repetition helps the brain develop the new circuits required to develop a new behaviour or habit.

We are naturally resistant to change and ironically don’t like to admit it. It took me a long time to recognise I am a creature of habit. I don’t believe my answers to many of the psychometric tests taken over the years honestly reflect that, but you can’t argue with absolute proof, ten years of feeding horses two to three times a day no matter the weather is routine.

Stepping outside the comfort zone of routine is harder than I expected. My natural inclination is to come up with the reasons why I might as well not bother going to that event in town be it weather, traffic, time, I’d have to change, it falls about the same time I should be feeding or I haven’t paid yet so no big loss. Trust me I have become the master of excuses. So this year my resolution is to reach out to the many I have made virtual connections with. New or renewed, one person at a time, I am making that commitment. While social networking may be huge I’m still a fan of the power of personal connection, that is after all, what we speak to in our programs.

Sometimes creating a new habit is easier than we think it might be. When all appeared to be overwhelming for me as a teen, my mom suggested that I write down a list of the good things I could be thankful for in one column and what was bothering me in the other. Needless to say the list of good things was lengthy and the four items on the bad, didn’t seem quite so daunting. It is a simple task I continue to carry with me – My expectations for 2010 were many. I have succeeded with some, fallen short on others but acknowledging what I have achieved goes a long way to inspiring what I can do this year.

Last year I :
• created a Year of Inspirations ebook (if you didn’t receive a copy I would be happy to send it to you)
• completed & launched the facilitators guide – Creating Exceptional Leaders through learning with horses (it is for sale on my website)
• helped raise over $26k for Inn from the Cold (a non-profit foundation for homeless families)
• participated in the first Canadian Cowboy Up Challenge
• started four 3 yr old colts and continue to bring them along
• worked with two horses for friends (I am most proud of how well that has worked out)
• produced a monthly newsletter & (almost) weekly inspiration
• continued to develop 11 other horses
• nursed two horses back to health from rather ugly looking injuries (one my fault; one I inherited)
• added two new horses to the herd
• added four new clients to my horsemanship coaching
• travelled to Montana for a Buck Brannaman clinic
• read many new books on horsemanship
• expanded my leadership library and reading
• completed the script for an online video (the taping will now have to be a 2011 activity)
• completed numerous sketches of the herd
• added three new clients to my corporate programming
• ran three successful sessions for the University of Calgary
• ran a pilot for the Rotary Club of Calgary Stay in School program
• launched the Lead Mare mentorship program for youth
• ran the first Yoga for you & Your Horse session
• offered two conference presentations
• spent three days with six horses down at the Stampede grounds
and
• continued to feed, trim and care for the herd now totalling 17, 365 days of the year

If I can do that, the simple act of reaching out seems to be an attainable goal.

Implementing change begins with recognising what you are good at and building realistic expectations from there, then create the reminders you need to accomplish them. So I have posted a question for myself – Who am I connecting with this week on my desktop and to begin the year I have created another ebook. A Year of Great Expectation is a compilation of essays, quotes and images from newsletters and inspirations from the past year.

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 by Nancy

“There are two things in riding, techique and soul. The soul part is what we have nearly lost today and must put back.” Mestre Nuno Oliveria

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 by Nancy

“Consistency is the tool of learning, yet variety is the spice of life. Too much consistency is too boring. Too much variety is inconsistent.” – Richard Winter

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 by Nancy

“The degree of integrity that each of us can bring to the surface, the depth of character that we can summon for the question on how we change is already defining us as individuals… It will profoundly affect those who inherit the results of our decisions.”
Chris Jordan, TedTalks

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 by Nancy

Nice vs. Effective

My work is focused on being effective. Whether I am starting a colt, coaching a student of horsemanship or facilitating a corporate retreat I try to be effective with my communication so I see a demonstrated change in a behaviour. Effective ranges from saying something in a different way to nothing at all. I hope throughout the experience the horse, the human or the team also see me as someone they wouldn’t mind spending time with.

The single greatest challenge I have encountered with people working to either improve their horsemanship or leadership capacity is helping them develop a clear understanding of the difference between natural and effective, nice versus respected and assertive instead of aggressive. All basically the same thing from three different perspectives.

Many adherents to natural horsemanship have difficulty discerning between nice and effective methods of applying that philosophy. Natural for some reason has been translated into nice, soft and quiet and their horse literally loves them to death. When the human begins to recognize what they are doing doesn’t appear to be working they continue to think in the same way so seek out a “natural gentle” gimmick of which there are thousands. The end result: yet another way to not be clear on what you are asking nor getting the respect required.

In horsemanship an intention has to translate through our body language for a single clear result. Sometimes we just need to speak, non-verbally, a little louder in order for our cues to be perfectly clear and then we can go back to a whisper. While we may talk about partnerships with our horse in reality we are looking at a benevolent dictatorship at best – we want the horse to want to excel and want to be with us, but sometimes our leadership style requires that we stand firm until we see the intended result.

Which is why for me there is such a direct correlation between the qualities required for both a good horseman and a good leader. There are few, if any, shortcuts to the ideal image of you and your horse or you and your team. I’ve listened to so many people talk about how well they get along with everyone at work, in one breath and then express complete exhaustion in the next. Sometimes being plain nice isn’t enough, it requires that you be effective.

For leadership to be effective it may mean changing how you approach a situation, employing a different leadership style. Being nice about a difficult conversation is rarely effective as chances are you won’t say what needs to be said. What I continue to marvel at is as a person realizes the horses behaviour will adapt to what they present, as they become more effective, they begin to see they are the source of the solution. To use a well worn phrase, they feel empowered to make a change in their own leadership style in order to be more effective in what they do.

There are many great reference tools out there books, programs, coaches find what helps get you unstuck so you can see a change in your habits and the behaviours of others – so you don’t feel that people too are loving you to death

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 by Nancy

Why Positive Change is Hard

At one time it was common to refer to breaking a colt. Many believed that you had to break the colt’s spirit by trapping, restraining and making them to comply to your requests. Fortunately we have learned there are easier and safer ways to work with horses. Today you are more likely to hear someone refer to starting a colt, words that better illustrate the positive changes in behaviour we wish to create as we develop a relationship.

The saying “make the right choice comfortable” is a reflection of our learning. When we apply that concept in working with a colt, we adapt our behaviours to what we know about horses so being with us becomes a good experience and accelerates a horse’s learning.

While we share the same fight or flight responses of the horse connected to the amygdala part of the brain, the same does not apply in our awareness of subtle changes in our environment. Unfortunately, it is our greater capacity to reason in the higher functions of the brain that get in our way. We tend to clump detail into broad strokes often creating something far greater than it is. Rather than seeing a series of connected events or signals we jump to the end result conjuring up endless scenarios in the process, letting the ‘what ifs’ create a noise that drains our energy and drowns the opportunity for insight and awareness.

Insight is the space required to understand, decide, recall, memorize and inhibit, in order to make a change in our behaviour. It is the quiet place where we hear the signal above the noise and see the opportunity in change.

David Rock expands on the concept of why positive change is hardest in his webcast “The New Science of Change – Connecting Leadership Development and Neuroscience.” Rock defines thinking as energy intensive and suggests our brain’s intrinsic goal is to avoid effort, the reason why we so quickly connect to what is wrong with change, we don’t have to think.

Thinking requires effort, effort equates to discomfort, discomfort produces a level of uncertainty, uncertainty reduces our capacity to reason and tends to steer us back toward what is certain. It is this chain of action, reaction that makes it difficult for us to accept change, even when change is for the best.

Rock suggests we can rewire the circuits of our brain if we take just 10 seconds a day to focus on a positive outcome. Basically the same concept we apply in working with a horse – breaking new information down into small repeatable bites. Asking for one thing at a time building on competence until actions become behaviours.

It is these small bites of information we introduce when making the parallel between horsemanship, leadership, communication or team learning. Because the horse so quickly mirrors our actions and reactions they become the perfect measure of how easily or how difficult we make adapting to change. In working with a horse an individual often discovers that quiet space for insight when they start to become aware on how their actions impact another being. Insight that makes room for positive change.

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 by Nancy

Commenting on Change

Hello Nancy: Thank you for your email and the pictures, I really love the one of me with Rhys.

I have sent my feedback into the team at the University of Calgary to let them know that this course was probably the most influential and effective course that I have ever been on. It did something to me I can’t quite put a word or phrase too, but it has definitely effected my perception of how I act around people, both verbally – but even more so – through body language. I have also suggested that Continuing Education consider making this a 2 day course as there is just so much to learn. It is truly ground breaking on how the experience with horses teaches things that I never would have picked up in a classroom setting.

The most pronounced example for me was when your assistant walked out into the arena with the hurried and abrupt body movements, how immediately that impacted the horses! As a result of observing the changes and reactions the horses had – I am very conscious of how I walk into work in the morning and even more attentive to how I come into my home at the end of my day at work. It is amazing, but by me focusing on really being gentle and happy – everyone seems to be more relaxed and happy as well. What a way to end a day with my family! No matter what has happened or what frustrations I had during the day, seeing that they are all calm and happy, just makes the world of difference.

I have also noticed that I am much quieter in my voice pitch and I focus on being clearer when asking my children, husband and colleagues to do things. I try to imagine ‘dancing’ with them, and if we could move across the office, or across the kitchen- with my family, based on the information that I am giving and how I am asking it. I have already started changing my tone and also have stopped assuming everyone knows exactly what I am talking about, as well as my perception that they will do things the way that I think they will. Rhys definitely showed me to expect the unexpected. I know that it has been a week today, but these examples alone has helped me both personally and professionally.

Nancy – I want to say ‘Thank You’ again to both you and Fred, for opening up such a new and honest perspective of how I can be a good person – not just a good leader. You have tapped into something that I wish every person could experience. I think it would change so much of the agitation and aggression that we all are guilty of carrying (which of course we think we are hiding within ourselves , without even noticing how it effects our family, friends, colleagues and perfect strangers!). Warm regards, Maryann

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 by Nancy

Taking things too seriously

jack_lrI don’t know how many times I have gone out to work with a horse with an agenda – only to find the horse has little interest, certainly no intention and is quite content to just see what shows up.

Learning to adjust to the mindset of living in the moment and being prepared to adapt to the situation continues to test me. Rain is one horse that seems determined to test my resolve on being present. Regardless of progress in previous sessions we usually spend the first half of any session fiddle farting around to reach to a mutually agreeable starting point. Once and if that point is reached all moves along well.

I say if, because the if is dependant on me. Each ride is like a previous conversation where Rain needs to state his opinion and feel confident that I am listening. Working with a horse is truly no different than coaching a person along. I’ve learned that once Rain has had that opportunity to vent, he appears more open to a dialogue where he is willing to answer my questions. Push him too a point and his resistance and frustration grows, guide him through the discussion and pretty soon we’re loping along smooth as can be.

In his fabulous book “The Mentors Mentor”, Corey Olynik, suggests that a “mentor must first and foremost be a “Confidante: a person who listens without judgement.” Olynik’s many years as a mentor helped him define the six different roles he has played in coaching others. It helped me see that as a “Role model” my experience in starting other horses must demonstrate to Rain that I am willing to be a “Guide”, a “Tutor” and a “Coach” to facilitate his learning, and as a “Sage” I am willing to allow him time to understand.

Each role I play offers something different to define Rain’s development as a riding horse. As a “Guide” I have used the recent construction zone near the farm to help him see things that may appear foreboding, from a new perspective, as a “Coach” I am bringing accountability, discipline and motivation into the relationship by supporting, repeating and rewarding. As a “Tutor” I am looking for the right way to explain something new to him, recognising each horse will find understanding if we give them time. Finally as a “Sage” I can’t loose site of the ultimate vision – being one with the horse.

Olynik’s book has been a wonderful reminder for me to find the perspective that will be helpful with each horse at each moment. To enjoy what shows up and be playful. To use each experience to strengthen the relationship, finding the path together so I don’t end up being the only one taking myself too seriously.

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