leadership behaviour

 by Nancy

A Ringside Seat


For two days I had been working hard at achieving the flow of the activity, but the goal of a soft feel and fluid motion remained elusive. As Jack and I continued to muddle around the arena, a voice came from outside fence “Would you mind if I made an observation?”

I had to stop and turn to where the voice came from as it was certainly not one I knew. “Please”, I responded as I was pretty sure any suggestion could improve on where we were at. With a single question, what had been painfully obvious to others was finally clear to me. The difference in outcome, nothing short of remarkable.

I was riding in a clinic with horsemanship master Buck Brannaman, but it was my ringside consultant who opened up the greatest possibilities for me that weekend. As horsemanship is all about our own behaviours, it was Chris’ simple suggestion that had helped me to adjust mine. The Zen saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” fits as that one observation has lead to an ongoing dialogue with a friend willing to share his experience and wisdom.

While it may simply be a case of semantics, a term or a title can be everything. I was beginning to believe I was uncoachable however, being mentored is totally appealing. Founded in Greek Mythology, even the word mentor conjures up an image of admiration. Off to fight a two decade long war, Odysseus left his son Telemachus in the charge of faithful friend Mentor, to raise his son to be an honourable, truthful and courageous man.

Corey Olynik captures that appeal in his book “The Mentor’s Mentor”. The first chapter One Conversation Many Installments introduces the concept beautifully. Olynik’s view is the Mentor plays many roles through that Conversation. A role that begins as a Confidante and listens without judgement; is a Role Model with the experience to share, a Guide to help a protege see things for herself, a Tutor to facilitate learning, a Coach to bring accountability to the relationship and ultimately the overarching role of a Sage who keeps his eye on the vision.

Since that day last summer our conversations have covered many topics family, death, politics, the environment, the weather with a thread that always returns to horsemanship. Chris has some wonderful experience to share and his suggestions have greatly enhanced my learning and progress, he has asked the tough questions that make me think about my next step and overall he understands the ultimate goal we both seek in our relationship with our horse.

I have found yet one more Mentor to my horsemanship and leadership journey. Chris, it has been an unexpected and fun conversation, with what I hope to be many installments yet to come. Thank you.

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 by Nancy

Getting out of my own way

Reflecting on her goals from the day a participant of a recent Leadership: Horse Sense to People Smarts, session suggested that her confidence in dealing with difficult conversations and conflict in her team, improves “when I get out of my own way”. It was one of those comments that could have been my theme statement for the month! Getting out of my own way relates to both my horsemanship and business.

Watch a horse at play in the field and you will witness rollbacks, spins, levades, piaffes and counter canters with the greatest of ease. If a horse can execute these tasks without us, why is it so hard to achieve the same when we ask it of them? It is one of the most common and most difficult questions to answer, it always depends, and it always comes down to getting out of the horses way.

What I have come to understand about how we learn is we are often only prepared to hear what we need at that moment in time. Effortlessly galloping across the open prairie, horses mane and tail flying is typically the first image that comes to mind for those wishing to learn how to ride. Yet when they first get on that dream disappears and fear takes over. Whether it is fear of falling off or fear of failing, it is the emotion that can hold us back.

When fear grips us our first reaction is to hold our breath – the exact opposite of what we need to do. At a recent HRAC event, Shawne Duperon talked of the fear reaction we often experience when meeting new people. She calls the conscious action of breathing the Cycle of Reciprocity – you breathe to help the other person relax and breathe, breaking the tension that might exist.

It is exactly the same tension that shows up between horse and rider. While I often say there are only 5256 things you need to remember when on your horse, I make clear there is only one thing you must begin with and that is to breathe. It is the same thing I repeat often in our leadership programs. When people become conscious about a completely non-conscious action, breathing, they begin to realize the control they can exercise over their own emotions.

I love it when you identify something in a different context to see our own patterns of behaviour that may limit us. Horses benefit from clearly defined patterns of repetition. While I find huge comfort in the routine horses offer, I also see how it is a behaviour I have used as an excuse for the activities that are outside of my comfort zone.

Starting a business was totally outside my comfort zone and as I learned way beyond what I thought I knew. I have remained focused and intent on succeeding with my business and I have learned a lot through the process. I am also now painfully aware of my own short comings, but in a good way as I can choose to do differently. What is curious is the clarity comes as I hear others struggle with the same questions.

So this past month getting out of my own way has lead to many revelations, changes and new projects. I will soon be releasing my next workbook for people interested in learning with horses – In Business to Define; I have already confirmed 10 programs for 2012 and have a new partner in lining up business to fill in other dates.

As I learn to really listen to what it is I need I am finding it easier to let others help out so The Natural Leader succeeds. So thank you to everyone for waiting patiently as I figured that out!

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 by Nancy

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr Seuss

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 by Nancy

Are You a Thought Note Person?

Are you a thought note person? I certainly am. When a thought strikes me as interesting I am prone to capture it. When I write these things down everything is perfectly clear as my internal editor is filling in the blanks where words of explanation should be.

The problem is, I often don’t review those notes until some days or weeks later and the intention or meaning of the words may have all but disappeared. Without the context or intention behind the words, or perhaps it is simply the cryptic way I captured the thought, I sometimes have no clue as to why I wrote it down.

Our internal editor often causes us to skip the most basic of information, assuming we will simply fill that in later. Unfortunately it is the basics that the idea is built on and without that our thought lies incomplete, words on the page or just as likely in the notepad on our digital device.

To my surprise I realize I often execute tasks in the same way. Whether it is communication, projects or how I interact with others I can leave out key pieces of information that completes my expectation to ensure the success of others.

Actions than rang true for me with one of last years colts. Starting Gabriel last fall went really well. Typically I get a colt to a point and then let them mature on that over the winter months picking things up again in the spring. Well this spring we discovered a small hole that had become a gaping disaster when Gabe turned his back end into the carraganna hedge. A branch must have tickled him up under the flank turning my angel into a rank, bucking bronco an effort that would have made any Stampede cowboy proud. Fortunately for me, it was before I got on. An oversight I would not have been able to ride out.

We never want to put ourselves into a situation where we have to ride out a bad event, the problem is we rarely know when it is about to happen. It has now taken me twice as long to get Gabe back and riding to where we should have been from the start in the spring. Time well spent as for me it has been an invaluable lesson – never skip on the basics, never assume someone else really understands your expectation and remember to complete the thought.

When we turn our internal editor off it is so much easier to hear what you are saying, listen to the questions and watch for what others need. These three simple steps help us anticipate when a blank needs to be filled.

If you view it as an opportunity to start over – you always have another chance to complete a thought and make a good first impression.

Thanks to Steve Giddy for this photo

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 by Nancy

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.”
All my very best, Jack Layton 1950-2011

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 by Nancy

A Thread of Influence

No, I never owned a horse named Lucky. Though I often say “I am lucky with the parents I ended up with,”  because one has little choice in that piece of destiny.

Another saving piece of luck, may well be horses. Despite growing up in the city my mother suggests my passion for horses extends longer than I remember. After years of pleading, my first horse entered my life when I was ten. Joey was love at first sight. Horses have been a thread of interest woven through my life.

Many years have gone by since that first embrace and horses continue to be an influence in my life. Through horses I have learned more about myself then any personality profiling tool could offer. It was a comment by a peer that had me thinking who else has influenced me. She immediately recognized the horsemanship influence but inquired as to who I modelled my leadership and facilitation skills after.

The question stumped me. While I have participated in many programs watching and listening closely to the facilitators “Did I reflect any of them?” to be honest I don’t think so. But the question reminded me of the leaders I have had the opportunity to work with and the qualities I admired in them.

There are two individuals who come to mind when I think of leadership influence. The first is Rick, from the planning group at Parks Canada. While he could sit in a meeting, seemingly uninterested or unengaged I have never yet met another person who could summarize and clarify a discussion better than he. All the while he appeared to me to be working on something unrelated, he was capturing highlights and points that carried through the discussion. When he spoke it was if he had summarized a two hour discussion in five or six key points, reflecting back to the group what was collectively said, felt or omitted. He brilliantly validated what was said and a group would leave completely fulfilled and ready to move forward.

A second leader of influence in my career would be Dave, during my time with the Hot Pools Business Unit at Parks Canada. I’d say he is reflected by the question “What qualities do you most admire in a leader?”

Dave had a knack for helping you see the best in what you already have. When you were uncertain as to whether you had the knowledge to move forward, he always offered the right words  It was as if he simply saw you by your ability, what you could achieve and had yet to learn.

I have had the opportunity to work with numerous other individuals who have given me reference points for what not to do in a leadership role and they stand in stark contrast to those I’ve mentioned. Experiences you don’t care to repeat but my interactions with them have certainly allowed for the empathy required when working with participants in our programs who might be in similar circumstances.

It was the sage wisdom of a business mentor who painted the first picture for me on The Natural Leader programs. She suggested that a good program is like a three legged stool miss one element and the stool won’t stand. She applauded the idea, provided suggestions for honing the content and encouraged me to continue to grow as a facilitator. Since that conversation I have had the great opportunity to work with some excellent facilitators and each and every session I learn and grow from these encounters. Do I reflect them? In some small way I hope so.

So for that question, thank you. I have had the great fortune to have met many wonderful people through my career and like the parents I ended up with lucky to have learned what I did from each of these individuals.

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 by Nancy

Synchronicity

Synchronicity, the experience of two or more unrelated events occuring together in a meaningful manner, happened.

Two recent but separate events connected a few key concepts to a problem I am facing. The first a talk by Judge John Reilly on his book Bad Medicine a reflection of his experience and struggle for justice in a First Nations community, followed by the CBC show Ideas on the drive home.

Judge Reilly spoke of his awakening to the concept of world view throught the tragedy that was occurring in the interpretation of the euro-centric justice system on First Nations communities. While Indigenous people make up 3% of the population of Canada, they represent over 70% of those incarcerated. It was his new found awareness that caused him to challenge and change the justice system for the First Nations community west of Calgary.

The CBC radio segment Ideas, presented a series of life stories by adults with Asperger syndrome, a form of high functioning autism, and their struggle to fit into a societal view of norms. An “Aspy”, as they referred to themselves, process information differently. An example one speaker gave: referring to the noise the fan was making. For many, a noise that wasn’t noticed until pointed out, for a few something they have been concentrating hard to block out so they could focus on the speaker. He suggested an Aspy spends their whole life trying to block out all the other stimuli around them, an exhausting effort.

While one event spoke of the justice system, the other about a physiological or psychological condition both brought together the concept of worldview. The synchronicity, two perspectives offering something unique for a horse I am working with.

Stella has been here since October. What began as a nursing project to heal a badly injured leg has developed into the study of an ultra-sensitive horse. I have had the great pleasure of starting numerous horses now and believe I have come to understand what to look for in a colt as they are developing. Stella (think of the play A Streetcar Named Desire) is not like any of the other horses I have started. While I have had a few suggestions that could profile her according to certain traits, consider a Myers-Briggs for horses, in my view what gets in the way as once defined, the label creates expectations and it becomes easier to broad stroke what may show up.

I believe there are huge advantages to people becoming aware of and reflecting on their own natural tendencies through the various assessment tools. Awareness is the first step in challenging ourselves to step outside of our comfort zone, I have come to understand a lot about myself through these exercises. The profiling tools also help us recognise and respond appropriately to these identified traits in others. The challenge in doing the same thing to a horse is they have no opportunity to respond to that label. They are simply the way they are.

The concept of worldview is not new to me, but the other night I had a whole new understanding as to what it means to me through the work I do. Stella is and thinks like a horse, but rather than one who starts to see a pattern after say two or three times, she will continue to see something different in each effort.

My favourite quote by Temple Grandin one that has gained a whole new meaning with Stella is “we may see the world in color, animals see the world in detail.” What is just a flag, a stick or a rope after a few tries with most horses – is something completely different and still poses a threat to Stella after many. Like an Aspy I believe Stella simply processes the information differently than other horses so she is reminding me yet one more time each horse is an individual. While I remain the same in how I might believe I am delivering the message, the weather might be different, another person present, the laundry on the line all represent stimuli she is processing while I am trying to get her to focus.

As I have added or subtracted elements with Stella I have learned to make no assumptions, take each effort as a new try to help her through each change. The more attention I also pay to the details the quicker we get from one step to the next. While it may have been a different label that caught my attention it was the concept of worldview that changed what I too began to notice. Stella requires that I remained focused on the moment, not distracted by what might show up and flexible to adapt to what does.

Watch Judge John Reilly’s talk “My Aboriginal Education” on TedxCalgary

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 by Nancy

Navigating Change

A polynesian mariner navigates the ocean by the clouds, the stars and the sound of the water on the hull of the boat. A horseman pays attention to the ears of the horse to know what to offer next and a CEO assesses the environment to gain information on how to lead an organisation. The mariner and horseman have developed a keen awareness for their surroundings, basing their next move on feel and experience. If only the signals were as clear for the leader!

In “Thoughts on Leadership Today…”. Laurie Maslak, Phd suggests “the Executive and Managers know all the right things to do, they have all been through extensive leadership development programs, but there’s little buy-in (to do the right things in practice)”. It does not appear to be a lack of good leaders, just a lot of good leaders doing bad things. Many offer a multitude of reasons for this: a persistent level of increased stress and growing workloads; working managers who don’t have anyone to delegate work to or continue to believe they can just do it faster; the economic and competitive market pressures; (and finally) the common complaint “there is no time to lead properly”

When people are overwhelmed a natural default is to focus on task versus strategy, a concept that NYTimes columnist, David Brook explored in his recent TedTalk. Brook offers that we have become very good at living by things we can measure such as tactics, skill and safety and not so great at talking about character, emotions and values. We are social animals so we reflect what is going on inside and outside of us but we can only manage what we recognise. He goes further to suggest that good decisions are emotionally based and that wisdom is a reflection of the unconscious mind and our ability to be sensitive, sympathetic and empathetic.

Just as Maslak observed, Brook believes we must get better at talking about what matters to us. We should feel as comfortable talking about love, passion and what inspires us as we do about spreadsheets, resources and markets. We look to those we admire for guidance because leadership “is a practice that requires vigilance, persistence and a constant awareness of self, others, and the environment. Leadership development is both an internal and an external process.”1

Like the mariner who listens to the water to recognise wave patterns or the horseman who spends years observing and working with horses to recognise how body language impacts the horse, leadership requires that we take a step back, spend time contemplating and look within. “Leadership, in its truest sense of the word, is both an internal and an external experience.”2 The rational part of our being sends us to courses, books and experts the imprecise art of leadership comes from within.

Just as the mariner was seeking safe passage for others, the horseman transforming a colt into a dependable riding horse. A leader must be aware of their emotional input and output in order for others to aspire to be their best.

1&2 – Excerpts from Thoughts on Leadership…Laurie Maslak PhD.
more on David Brooks TedTalk
Elizabeth Lindsey & The Ancestral voices of her past TedTalk

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