work life balance

 by Nancy

Commenting on Change

Hello Nancy: Thank you for your email and the pictures, I really love the one of me with Rhys.

I have sent my feedback into the team at the University of Calgary to let them know that this course was probably the most influential and effective course that I have ever been on. It did something to me I can’t quite put a word or phrase too, but it has definitely effected my perception of how I act around people, both verbally – but even more so – through body language. I have also suggested that Continuing Education consider making this a 2 day course as there is just so much to learn. It is truly ground breaking on how the experience with horses teaches things that I never would have picked up in a classroom setting.

The most pronounced example for me was when your assistant walked out into the arena with the hurried and abrupt body movements, how immediately that impacted the horses! As a result of observing the changes and reactions the horses had – I am very conscious of how I walk into work in the morning and even more attentive to how I come into my home at the end of my day at work. It is amazing, but by me focusing on really being gentle and happy – everyone seems to be more relaxed and happy as well. What a way to end a day with my family! No matter what has happened or what frustrations I had during the day, seeing that they are all calm and happy, just makes the world of difference.

I have also noticed that I am much quieter in my voice pitch and I focus on being clearer when asking my children, husband and colleagues to do things. I try to imagine ‘dancing’ with them, and if we could move across the office, or across the kitchen- with my family, based on the information that I am giving and how I am asking it. I have already started changing my tone and also have stopped assuming everyone knows exactly what I am talking about, as well as my perception that they will do things the way that I think they will. Rhys definitely showed me to expect the unexpected. I know that it has been a week today, but these examples alone has helped me both personally and professionally.

Nancy – I want to say ‘Thank You’ again to both you and Fred, for opening up such a new and honest perspective of how I can be a good person – not just a good leader. You have tapped into something that I wish every person could experience. I think it would change so much of the agitation and aggression that we all are guilty of carrying (which of course we think we are hiding within ourselves , without even noticing how it effects our family, friends, colleagues and perfect strangers!). Warm regards, Maryann

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 by Nancy

Believable Moments

believeEver had one of those tangible moments when you actually believe, that others believe in you?

Of all the leadership challenges, belief in self often remains our greatest limiting factor. We can spend a lot of time learning and understanding but it is in the moment second guessing ourselves that stops us from applying our knowledge to take the risk and make that next step.

That would be the emotional part of our brain sabotaging the rational holding us back from something we have the skill, knowledge and experience to manage. Seth Godin calls that “The Lizard Brain – the prehistoric brainstem that all of us must contend with” — referring to it as the part that “doesn’t like being laughed at”.

Rhys the horse who continually creates memorable moments for me, offered another one today. It was the linchpin1 in our relationship. I used the word tangible to describe the moment because it left behind a glow, an actual feeling. Well at least that is how it seemed to me.

I was on Rhys in the outdoor ring, checking out where we were both at before heading out on a ride. Zoe, my other best teacher, surely must have decided it was time for my next lesson. She rallied the herd and headed to the back field. Heads up, tails flying, bodies rushed past the rails of the corral from two different directions and headed up over the hill, my only thought was “I should get off”. For those who understand how powerful a magnet a leaving herd can be to a horse you might understand that first thought. But I didn’t get off, my next thought was I can manage this I have the knowledge and skill to get through this. “Rhys we have been through a lot together this shouldn’t be a problem – let’s work through this.”

Rhys was concerned that others had left, but as soon as I asked him to get busy he was visibly relieved that I was still there. When a horse blows through their nose it can be a huge physical and mental release for them. That was what he offered me.

We spent a few more minutes in the arena to confirm he was connected to me and not the long gone herd, and then headed in the opposite direction to the stubble fields. Our part of the world is currently a construction zone – an old wellsite is being remediated just north of us and the County is putting a water line down the road we live on. Not counting the steady stream and rumble of dump trucks there are no less than 9 major pieces of equipment and one generator droning away all day, it is noisy and disruptive. It has become a perfect training ground.

I couldn’t have imagined taking Rhys past a backhoe even a few months ago, but today I believed we could. It was the best ride we have ever had. I believe Rhys is a completely different horse, what has changed however is me.

1- The linchpin – a locking pin that holds the wheel to the axel or the name of Seth Godin’s new book.
Photo courtesy of Sandra Anderson

Thanks for reading this – we’d love to honour your time by offering you a copy of A Year of Inspirations – an ebook summary of some of our best past essays, quotes & images.

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 by Nancy

The Gender Parity

sydneyKnown for the Stampede and Spruce Meadows, Calgary is a hub for international competitors and horses. At these levels of competition one can’t help but notice the number of mares represented in the final round of cattle work, that famous eight second ride or the jump- off. It is a gender parity that puts the business community to shame.

While women may be present in a higher proportion in both the workplace and the stables, there continues to be a higher representation of males in senior management and geldings in the barns. I broached this observation on an equine related discussion board and the thread quickly drifted to typical gender stereotypes, hormones, personality preferences and dominant versus passive behaviour. Similar reasons as to why mares are relegated to brood herds and women left out of the board room.

As with all my articles I seem to waller1 around for a while before I decide what it is I really want to say. Sydney helped me gain some clarity this morning. The most confident horse I have ever owned, she has never questioned her own ability. Many people who have had the opportunity to work with her have remarked “that scanning the herd she hadn’t caught their eye, but her personality is one you cannot ignore.” What I am fairly confident about is in other hands she would be labeled a difficult horse.

Just as men and women view the same problem from different angles, a mares perspective on us differs from that of a gelding. Horse clinician Julie Goodnight suggests that “working with mares requires that we develop a meaningful relationship in order for them to bond with us as they would a herd mate.”

It is coming to understand this different perspective that has helped me grow in my horsemanship skills. A mare asks more of us as a leader and it is this questioning style that often puts people at odds with mares. The mindset of many horse owners is they should just do as I ask but, as we have seen time and again in our sessions, what we think we are asking and what the horse reads are often two completely different requests.

Thinking about how mares have been stereotyped what surprises me is how often I have heard from a women “they would never ride a mare.” A participant of a recent session couldn’t have framed it better when reflecting on his experience with lead mare Zoe “she was clearly allowing me to lead her”. He held no illusion that he was the leader simply because he held the lead rope. With both mares and geldings in our herd I have learned a lot about group dynamics. Every horse has learned behaviours but each has their own unique personality and background. It is the differences in the gender dynamics in the playground, the workplace and the stables that maintains a dynamic, growing and caring environment.

To update that cowboy saying on mares I would prefer to suggest “you need to engage in dialogue with a mare.” as too often a discussion ends up being one sided. Being open to a dialogue with Sydney or any of the other mares in the herd has allowed me to see what each excels at. Dialogue requires that we not only express our opinion but we that listen to other perspectives. When you find that area of common interest a mare’s loyalty is unquestionable they will truly put their heart and soul into getting you to the final round.

1-Waller – in this context is in reference to the aimless and sometimes purposeless requests we make of our horses, to the point they simply shut us out.

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